In a recent counselling session I was explaining a calming technique to a parent to use with their child. The mom looked at me and was silent. I asked if her if she had any questions and she said, “You must think I’m a bad parent, because I don’t do any of that. I had no idea.”
Inspired by a recent article that talked about what a therapist is thinking, I thought I too might share with you what I’m really thinking during our therapy sessions with your child. I am a parent too. I have four children ranging in age from one to 14, and each of them has taught me something new about parenting. Parenting is tough, and there’s no guide book telling you how to best parent your own unique child.
Coming to counselling and sharing your family or your child’s difficulties takes courage. I have great respect for any family that walks through the clinic doors to look for help for their child.
Realizing that you need support to parent your child takes a great amount of humility. The fact that you have made the financial and emotional commitment to therapy already makes you an amazing parent.
I believe in the inherent strengths of families. All my years of working with families has taught me there is strength and resilience in each family. Sometimes that strength and ability to cope has been lost or forgotten, so it is my job is to help a family connect again.
Coming to therapy with your child is just one of the many ways you are showing your love for them.
Children feel this love on an instinctual level even when you feel you are falling short. Every day is a new day in a child’s life to show them that you love them. There are times when you may feel that you have lost hope, but that’s ok because that is why you are here in therapy. I will hold that hope for you until you are able to again.